I have tried my hand at the old wheeling and dealing, and market stalling. At least, my wheeling and dealing involved wheeling, not so much dealing, and I made it to my first car boot sale just the other day. This was okay, as I had gathered up rubbish for years. As some say ‘speculate to accumulate’, my motto is ‘accumulate to procrastinate’. I had decided it was time it just went, but it was such good fun that I may have to gather a limitless supply of the junk. I think this is what lots of people do. They probably end up out of pocket.
Not I however. I have discovered the true way to make money. A while back I went to Instow beach (this was once a desirable holiday destination in the 1920s but because where we live one has the choice of about five of the most beautiful beaches in the country, Instow is rather regarded as the dump). While I was there, I gathered drift wood. For no particular reason, just my natural stowing instinct I suppose. When I returned home, I tipped out my findings to realise I had absolutely no use for them whatsoever. I suggested to my mother that we could sell ‘em on’ car boot sale to gullible grockles (that’s Devon for holiday makers) displaying a large sign stating: ‘REAL DEVON DRIFTWOOD – £1 A STICK’.
I chuckled to myself wildly as I envisaged myself pointing out the wonderful pattern on one particular piece, and saying to the tourist, ‘Yes, it’s wonderful isn’t it,’ then under my breath,’ probably sewage..’ followed by, ‘okay, you’ll have that one? That’s £1 then please.’
I chuckled to myself even more wildly when somebody actually bought it on Sunday. I had made a bracelet holder out of two of the pieces, in an attempt to make some use of it. It was a pretty shoddy attempt, and was leaning horribly to one side while laden with jewellery on my stall. I was just trying to stop it from self destructing altogether when one lady asked me, ‘How much do you want for the stand?’ I looked up in utter disbelief and answered, ‘You actually want to buy it?’
‘Yes, how much is it?’ she replied.
I said, ‘Well, I dunno, 20p?’ as I even explained to her that it was ‘probably rotten’.
She gave me 50p in the end, as I bundled the whole thing into her bag, in pieces, just simply a pile of pieces, of real Devon driftwood.
I am still trying to imagine what she has actually done with it. I’m on for next week. I feel like Africa when they realised they had diamonds. I’m sitting on a fortune.
Geogger 